


It matters

by Ricky4479



Category: Pocket Monsters: Diamond & Pearl & Platinum | Pokemon Diamond Pearl Platinum Versions
Genre: Cyrus is accepting, Fluff, NOTHING HAPPENS THO, Onesided CyrusxSaturn, Soft Cyrus, Suicide Imagery, Trans Male Character, Trans Saturn, sorta angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 10:41:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28350051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ricky4479/pseuds/Ricky4479
Summary: Saturn has been acting strange lately. When he doesn't show up to a meeting one day, Cyrus goes to investigate.
Relationships: Akagi | Cyrus/Saturn (Implied)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 4





	It matters

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING  
> If suicide imagery triggers you in any way, don't read it. Nothing explicit happens, but Cyrus has some vivid images in his head.
> 
> I got this idea while working on something bigger I might or might not post on here once it's finished.  
> Anyway, enjoy this little brainfart!  
> I headcanon Saturn to be trans basically because why not. He has been mistranslated and refered to as a woman quite often, so, who cares.

Cyrus would never admit it, yet something deep inside of him was worried for Saturn. The young commander hadn’t been his cheery self lately, rather quiet and deep in thought, something no one knew he was even capable of. The way he didn’t seem to enjoy talking to anyone, not even his so dearly beloved master, was scaring Cyrus. When one morning Saturn didn’t turn up to the meeting Cyrus and the commanders held every morning, Cyrus had enough. He would make the boy talk about whatever was going on, if he wanted to or not.  
So, marching towards Saturn's quarters, Cyrus mentally prepared for what might expect him. The pictures in his head got more gruesome with each step and as Cyrus held the doorknob in his hand, a picture of Saturn hanging from his ceiling, dead, plagued Cyrus' mind. No. No, Saturn wouldn’t do something like that. Sure, his behaviour has been rather reminiscent of a person planning to kill themselves, but Saturn wasn’t led by his emotions that strongly, was he?  
He wasn’t.  
Right?  
Cyrus breathed in deeply, feeling his chest tighten. This wasn’t the moment for a panic attack.   
Turning the knob, Cyrus opened the door rather violently, stepping into the room and closing the door with a dull thud.  
“Saturn?” Cyrus called out “You’re late to the meeting.” As Cyrus started walking through the empty room, he found nothing extraordinary. The room looked just as it always did, neat and tidy, mountains of organized papers piling up on the desk, a book shelf full of old, worn out books, some of which Cyrus had gifted Saturn. Saturn cherished each one, rereading them many times to really absorb the information.  
As he stepped towards the bed, planning to inspect the bedside table, Cyrus heard a choked sound from the adjacent bathroom.  
His mind was showing him those terrible pictures again, this time of Saturn in his bathtub, covered in blood, his slit wrists spreading it everywhere, creating a mess, Saturn too weak to do something about it.   
No. Saturn would not kill himself.  
As Cyrus walked towards the closed bathroom door, he repeated the mantra again and again, convincing himself of just that.  
“You know I don’t tolerate being late-” He threw open the door, unable to stop the sound from getting stuck in his throat.  
There Saturn was, on his floor, shirtless, crying, a roll of something looking like medical tape and a pair of scissors next to him. Quickly scanning the room, Cyrus didn’t see any blood or anything else suggesting violent, self harming behaviour, only seeing Saturn stare at his boss, trying his best to stop crying as he rubbed at his eyes, hiding his face behind his arm shortly.  
“Master Cyrus! What are you- Why are you here? You weren’t supposed to- You weren’t supposed to see this!” Saturn choked back a sob, still rubbing at his eyes with one hand as he tried standing up, his other hand searching for his shirt and jacket somewhere on the ground.  
“What happened?” Cyrus stood frozen in the doorway, almost at a loss for words, but collecting himself, squatting down and picking up Saturn's shirt from in front of his feet, handing it to the clearly distraught young man.  
“It’s nothing, I swear! It’s just- I’m just-...” Saturn stood up, granting Cyrus a full view of Saturn's exposed upper body. His upper body was free of any hair, not even the slightest hint of a so-called “happy trail” below Saturn's belly button, as well as what seemed to be badly bruised ribs. Strips of what Cyrus thought to be medical tape before covered a large part of Saturn's chest, stretching back around his ribcage to his upper back. As Saturn put on the gray shirt, he looked up and smiled at Cyrus. “I’m just so happy right now, Sir. By Arceus, I’m happy.” Saturn looked at his side profile in the mirror, his chest perfectly flat, no trace of what Cyrus no doubt thought to be a pair of breasts tightly bound away beneath that tape.   
So his lieutenant commander was trans. That was certainly a surprise. What was an even bigger surprise was Cyrus moving almost on autopilot, pulling Saturn into a tight hug as soon as he saw new tears forming in the younger's eyes. Cyrus didn’t know what overcame him, but he had this overwhelming urge to hug Saturn, to make him stop crying any way possible. Even though these were supposed to be “happy tears”, Cyrus couldn’t stand them. He had never been able to stand crying in any way.  
At first Saturn was visibly confused, but quickly embraced his boss, clinging to him like a drowning man.  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Cyrus asked with no intent of breaking the hug anytime soon.  
“Because I didn’t think it mattered.” Saturn replied, almost melting in his crush’s arms. Cyrus had known Saturn was in love with him since the first conversation the two had, but, just like with Mars, he had never cared much for it.  
“It doesn’t. I could have helped you though. You are more effective to our cause when you’re not plagued by such emotion.”  
Saturn chuckled.  
“It’s fine, I promise. If you don’t exactly want to pay for me to get surgeries and hormone therapy in the next week, the transtape will be just perfect.”  
Cyrus hummed in agreement, seeing no reason for an argument.  
They stayed like that for a few more minutes, tightly wrapped in each others arms, before Cyrus stepped away, picking up the jacket from the ground and handing it to Saturn, telling him if he was to tell anyone about this or if he should not turn up to a meeting and scaring Cyrus this immensely again, Cyrus would stab his eyes out, jerking a typical, although fear filled, submissive reaction out of Saturn.

It didn’t take long for Saturn to walk into his room one day, finding a package on his bed addressed to him, no sign from whom it may be.  
When he opened it, he almost couldn’t believe it. What he could believe even less was how perfectly the binder fit him as he managed to wiggle into it in the bathroom, close to breaking out into tears again.   
All the while Cyrus was grateful for his mindless drones of grunts, doing whatever he says without questioning a single thing. The last thing he would need now was someone asking him why in Arceus' good name he would need the shoulder and chest sizes of his lieutenant commander.


End file.
